HOME > Testimonies > A letter from S in South Africa

For twenty years I've been a missionary but sadly have worked unknowingly on an unhealthy legal side through the deception of the old man. But early in 2012 The Lord graciously brought me into a crisis where I became convinced that I was losing my life through sickness. And was confronted by The Lord in the reality of last moments on earth whether the Gospel I used to preach was truly good enough to die by. And as I slowly observed I was busy leaving my wife and children I realized I was in a spiritual desert and in this crisis was in need of help myself. This was a lonely and frightening time. Then I saw a little book on our bookshelf that I had purchased in a second hand bookshop but never read it, the book Sit Walk Stand. Seeing the title of the book I thought, "how much more basic can you get? And I feel the need of the basics again." So I started reading the book with my life in a crisis. And the book challenged my entire view of the Gospel which was rather legal at the point. But that precious book opened my eyes to the reality of our position in Christ. After so much blessing by Watchman Nee, I turned to another book on the shelf which I had obtained the same way but never read. We only had the one book of the six volume series, only the fourth one, Not I But Christ. But in this book The Lord greatly ministered to me through the chapters, If Any Man Sin, Deliverance, and Not I But Christ. Through all of these The Lord rectified some very wrong thinking I used to have and could not understand how I made the error. But I received light on how I made this error when I read the next book The Spiritual Man in seeing the deception and operation of the old man. I knew that I was born again, I am still convinced that I was born again but somehow sadly missed for twenty years the true and full Christian life. I further could not understand how since my rebirth in 1992 I have never heard this message preached by anyone. What a famine there is in our preaching!

The Lord healed me and put me on my feet again but now with quite a difference in my Gospel. So much so that I am quite alienated from the circle of Christian brothers I used to be in because I cast away my old doctrine and Gospel, characterized by the rule of the old man, and took up the Gospel as I learned it from Brother Watchman Nee, which was a far more blessed one. To the Lord be the glory! He will share His glory with no man. He must have it all.

And now the ground work of the full Christian life is properly laid. Which was never the case in my previous walk. A further blessing was that now under the doctrine of Watchman Nee that also became my own in a short amount of time The Lord blessed us with the rebirth of five of our children. Only three are not born again yet but they are ages 4 yrs, 2 yrs, and 2 months and with joy I trust The Lord that He will bring them in as they reach the age of accountability just like the others did. (We have 9 children all together) Now The Lord can receive all the glory because it is not my Gospel but His that changed my children's lives and will keep them in the future. Truly it is not I but Christ. For this I also have to thank your ministry who publishes Watchman Nee's books for without the vision and obedience of this publishing ministry I would not have had those second hand books that came to me directed by The Lord just at the right time published so many years ago. The book we have was printed in 1969 a year before I was born.

Of all the great men of the past, I have been most blessed by the writings of Watchman Nee. The greatest and deepest insight the Lord graciously granted me after my rebirth was through the books Sit Walk Stand, Not I but Christ, and The Spiritual Man. I am very, very blessed by this man of God.

Brother Stephanus from South Africa